Here's what some of our pig cooking customers had to say about the Pig Kiln 3000...

"Screw Kosher. This is some damn good pig."

- Rabbi [name witheld]

"If it were between the Pig Kiln 3000 or my wife, I'd take the pig cooker."

- Recently Divorced

"I don't give a damn if it's not built to fire code!"

- Fire Chief. City name withheld

"Now that's a box I'd like to put my hog in!"

- Some drunken pervert. Probably Irish.

"A wooden pig cooker? Bullsh*t."

- Bubba. From down yonder.

"The damn thing went up in flames before I ever got my pig on it!"

- Some dumbass who can't read instructions very well

"Best pork on Capitol Hill. And I should know... I make a living pushing pork through!"

- Senator [name withheld] from [state withheld]


- Wilbur

Cooked Pig


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Want to build your own Pig Kiln 3000? Buy the plans for just $14.95. Even if you never follow through, it will make for a good bar story.